Dark Shadows Episode 246 - 6/5/67

Mr. Garner arrives to see Liz, and she escorts him into the drawing room. Vicki and Carolyn discuss what the visit must be about in the foyer. Carolyn is sure trouble is coming.

Liz asks for legal advice. She asks if she's still legally married to Paul. He says she is, and he agrees it's high time for her to get a divorce. Garner says he can see to it that the divorce is completed within 90 days. He then asks why she's thinking about that after so many years. He asks if she's considering getting married again, when Jason walks in. Jason introduces himself to Richard Garner. He asks if he's here to discuss Liz' divorce, and Liz tells him it's none of his business. Garner leaves, and Jason is happy she's moving forward with the divorce so she can marry him. She protests, and he tells her they're going to get married, and they're going to be very happy.

Roger finds Liz in the drawing room and offers her a drink. He tells her that it was a busy day in the office. Roger helped out with so many secretaries out due to the attacks. He also mentions that Jason was not in, but he also adds that he's about as useful as David. Liz asks if Maggie has been found, and Roger says there's still no clues. Liz tells Roger she's proceeding with a divorce, and he's very pleased. He says she'll be free and clear of the scoundrel if he ever reappears, and she says she doesn't think he will. Roger commiserates with her, saying neither were very successful in marriage. Roger points out that she'd never consider remarrying, and she says she might, if she found the right man.

Roger points out she hasn't seen anyone outside the house in 18 years. He asks if she's hinting at something when Jason enters. He asks for some brandy, and Roger tells him he normally makes himself at home. Jason says he considers himself part of the family, and Roger says that while Liz may see him that way, he does not. Jason implies there may be more to it, but Liz denies as much when Roger presses her.

Carolyn asks Vicki to join her on a trip into town, so she doesn't have to go alone. Vicki agrees to join her. Carolyn wonders if Maggie will ever be found. Roger enters and tells the girls that either Liz has taken a  leave of her senses, or he has. Roger points out she's talking to Garner about a divorce, and that she's also talking about marrying again. Carolyn asks who she could get married to. Roger asks who has insinuated his way into the house and family business. The girls refuse to believe it, and Roger says Jason hinted very strongly that he would be a member of the family very soon. Carolyn doesn't want to believe she would go through with it, no matter what he has over her. She says they need to find out what she has over her, and expose him. Roger thinks it must have something to do with the basement, and Carolyn agrees. She says she's looked everywhere for the key, without any luck. Roger says she didn't find it because her mother wears it around her neck. Carolyn says she'll steal the key or break in, in order to find out what's in that room.

Liz is angry that Jason insinuated they were getting married. Jason asks her about the look on Carolyn's face when she finds out she murdered her father. Carolyn interrupts them and asks for the key to the room in the basement. Liz says she doesn't know where it is, and Carolyn says it's on the chain around her neck. Carolyn tells her mother that she thinks what's in the basement is what Jason has over her. Liz says that it's just things of her father's, and Carolyn refuses to believe her. She says she'll break into the room if she has to, in order to free her from Jason. Liz storms out, and Jason asks why she makes so much trouble for her mother. Jason tells her he thinks she should get into the room in the basement. He tells her he'll get her the key. He tells her to give him a few days. He says her mother is anxious for her to accept him.

Our thoughts

John: Liz accepting an offer for a brandy from Roger is indicative of just how dire things have become in Collinwood.

Christine: Vicki didn't ask about Frank Garner after his dad showed up at the house. It's like the guy never even existed.

John: Though she still denies it, the word is out about Liz considering marrying Jason. I wonder if David will be more accepting of the possibility of having an Uncle Jason...

Christine: This may be the first time the characters have been able to put two and two together. David had better dust off his crystal ball to see if his aunt should tie the knot with Jason.

John: Carolyn throws down the gauntlet about the basement, and right in front of Jason. It doesn't look like Liz is going to keep what's in that room a secret much longer.

Christine: It's about time someone forced the issue. Carolyn is good for something after all. Still, I wonder why Paul Stoddard's moldy bones have been stashed away in the basement instead of being buried out in the woods or tucked away in one of the many rooms in the sealed off portion of the house where nobody ventures.

"A few years in prison is preferable to a lifetime with you." -Liz

Episode 136 - 1/2/67

Roger paces in the drawing room until there's a knock at the front door. He answers it, and it's Richard Garner and his son Frank. Roger tells the elder Garner he wants him to start divorce proceedings from his wife immediately. He then says he's in the worst trouble of his entire life. He asks how soon he can get a divorce. Frank asks what the cause for the divorce is. Roger says it can be whatever he wants. All Laura wants is custody of David. Richard asks how Liz feels about this. Since he's her lawyer, he can't do anything against her wishes. Roger calls Vicki and asks her to keep Frank company.

Roger tells Richard he needs his advice. Burke wants to re-open the trial of 10 years ago, and he thinks he'll get Laura to change her testimony. He wants to give her the divorce and custody of David, and send her on her way. Richard says Frank will handle the divorce, and that he has some news.

Frank shares the news with Vicki that they're opening a branch in Collinsport, and he'll be moving there so they'll be able to spend more time together, assuming she's not leaving. He mentions that when Laura takes David, she would be out of a job. She tells him she doesn't want to leave, but she admits that it might be best for David.

Sam continues work on his portrait. He covers the canvas when he hears a car pull up. It's Maggie home early. She asks if she can see his masterpiece, and he barks at her. She asks if he's keeping secrets from her, and he denies it. She asks what Laura Collins is to him. He said he knew her before she was married, and after she married she left his social sphere. She says she thinks he's afraid of Laura, and of course he denies it.

Richard says he thinks Roger is hiding something about the old manslaughter charge. He asks why he's in a panic now that Laura is back. Roger downplays it, but Richard suggests that he wouldn't call him out in the middle of the night for nothing.

As Frank and his father leave, Vicki tells Roger that Frank said David would be leaving. Roger confirmed her concern that they might no longer need her services. She tells Roger she's concerned about David, and his current fascination with fire.

Sam talks about painting fire, and then suggests Maggie go to bed. She does, and Sam throws down another drink before leaving the house. Maggie hears him leave, and then sneaks a peek at the painting he's working on.

Roger says that David will be fine with his mother. He suggests that Vicki can help convince David to spend time with his mother. Vicki heads upstairs to bed.

Maggie is sitting, staring at the portrait when her father returns. She says she saw the painting, and asked why he would paint such a thing. He says he doesn't know why - but he's compelled to work on it, despite being terrified.

Our thoughts

John: So we not only got an excuse to get Frank Garner back into town, but to keep him there full time.

Christine: What will this mean for his relationship with Vicki Winters?

John: Richard starts to press Roger on the events of 10 years ago, but drops it quickly. Of course, he also tells Roger that he ultimately will defer to Liz's wishes.

Christine: Roger tells Vicki he'll try and work out some arrangement so she won't lose her job if David should leave with his mother. I wonder if he'll follow through, and if so, what she'll be offered.

John: It's not clear why Sam's portrait remains a mystery, now that Maggie has seen it - what - three times now?

Episode 107 - 11/22/66

Frank Garner arrives at the sheriff's office, concerned about Vicki. His father tells him that she left after questioning, and he's confident Roger's alibi will clear him as a suspect. He also says that the sheriff will be interviewing Sam Evans.

The sheriff returns, and Sam Evans arrives shortly thereafter. Sam asks who the other men are, and the sheriff says Roger Collins' attorneys. Sam asks what Roger has done, and the sheriff says he hasn't said he's done anything at all. The sheriff notes that someone tried to run down Vicki, and Sam was the last one to see her. The sheriff asks why he asked Vicki to meet with him. He says everyone is interested in what happened to Bill Malloy. The sheriff asks what Sam did after she left. He says he had another drink, then went for a drive, and no one saw him. Sam says he didn't attempt to murder Vicki. He asks the sheriff what his motive is. Frank excuses himself, and the sheriff dismisses Sam. As he leaves, he calls for one of his deputies to keep an eye on Sam.

Vicki is alone in Collinwood, and turns on all the lights in the drawing room and closes the window. The wind howls outside, and there's a knock at the door. She reluctantly approaches it, ultimately asking who it is. When Frank calls out, she's relieved. She lets him in. Frank asks who other than Roger would try to hurt her. She says David wouldn't try to kill her. Frank asks about Sam Evans, who can't account for his location last night. She says Sam wouldn't hurt her. She did say Sam was upset that she wouldn't share what she knew about Bill's possible murder. She mentions how Burke felt Sam may have had evidence to clear him. Frank spins that into Sam being a possible suspect if Roger and Sam were working together 10 years ago. Roger might have tried to break into her room, and Sam may have tried to run her down. Frank goes heads back to the sheriff's office, but not before making dinner plans with Vicki.

Liz comes downstairs asking about David. Vicki says he's likely at the old house. Liz asks if she'll go check for him. Liz calls Matthew and asks if David is with him. He's not, so she asks Matthew to search for him by the cliff. She also says Vicki is checking for him at the old house.

Mr. Garner asks the sheriff how long it takes his men to check a simple alibi. Frank arrives and asks where Sam Evans. He tells the sheriff that Sam may have withheld information in Burke's manslaughter case. His father pulls him aside and asks him not to bring up the manslaughter case. Frank says that's a motive Sam Evans has to hurt Vicki.

Sam returns to the sheriff's office and asks why he had to come back a second time. He confirms Sam doesn't have a car. He asks why he had Maggie's car last night. Sam says he already said he has no reason to harm Vicki. The sheriff says what if Vicki had information that could harm him. Information related to the manslaughter case. Sam says Vicki has no information that can harm him. The sheriff tells Sam he thinks he's hiding something.

As Vicki explores outside the old house, Matthew pushes a stone from the roof which crashes just inches in front of her.

Our thoughts

John: How quickly Vicki forgets that David locked her in a room to die. But it turns out he may not be the only one in Collinwood (other than Roger) that might want to see her harmed.

Christine: I also thought it odd that she had no reason to suspect David after he locked her up. Vicki tells Frank she's alone in the house. I was thinking Liz must be out visiting Matthew at the cottage, but then she came down the stairs a little while later. So I guess she wasn't alone after all.

John: Frank is a regular Perry Mason. He's going to stir up the pot, unaware that his father would just as soon not dig up all of Collinwood's ghosts in the process.

Christine: Let's not lose our heads here. Frank may try to emulate Perry Mason, but he's no Mason. Perry Mason would have had Matthew pegged as a suspect right away and wouldn't be wasting time chasing down the Sam Evans red herring. Maybe it's just an excuse to hang out in Collinsport so he can get to know Vicki better over dinner. Will they be dining at The Blue Whale or The Collinsport Inn?

John: Matthew has been turning up as a possible suspect in a number of ways these past few weeks, and now we actually see him try to kill Vicki. It's only Tuesday, so I expect we're going to be seeing much more of him before the week is out. Let's just hope Vicki makes it out unscathed.

Christine: Why would Matthew want to kill Vicki? Has Roger enlisted his help to keep his own hands clean? She had a strangely subdued reaction to nearly being crushed by the urn.

Episode 106 - 11/21/66

Vicki arrives at the sheriff's office. Mr. Garner is there, acting as legal counsel for Roger. The sheriff asks him to leave, and Mr. Garner says he'll be staying for the questioning. She asks where Roger is, and the sheriff says they're holding him, but he needs to ask her a few questions.

He asks her to identify the pen. She explains that she found it at Lookout Point, two or three days after Bill died. Mr. Garner interrupts to say that Roger might have lost it at any time in the interval after Bill died. Vicki then says she took the pen back to Collinwood. She had it for a day, and then it disappeared. She left it in David's room, and when she went back for it, it was gone. She said Roger and David were in the house. She thought David had stolen it. The sheriff asks if Roger had seen the pen, and she confirmed that he had. Garner interrupts trying to mount a defense, and the sheriff threatens to remove him from the office.

The sheriff asks when she understood the significance of the pen, and Vicki says it was when she saw Blair's pen in Bangor. He explained how rare it was, and that Burke had a duplicate. The sheriff asks if she thought Burke dropped the pen on the beach. She said she was, until she found out that Burke had given it to Carolyn, who told her that Roger took it. She said that Carolyn told Roger that she knew about the pen, and he came to her to tell his version of what happened that night; that he had been at Lookout Point, but that he didn't have anything to do with Bill's death. He was already dead when he arrived. She said she wanted to believe him, but she didn't know what she believed until someone broke into her room in the middle of the night. She said she screamed, and then Roger entered. He told her she imagined it. Garner says she could have been dreaming, and the sheriff gives him a last warning.

Vicki also describes the car attempting to run her down last night. She says she ran back to Collinwood and phoned Burke. The sheriff asks why she was walking back to Collinwood at night, and Vicki describes her meeting with Sam Evans. He wanted to know what she knew about Bill Malloy's death, and when she didn't answer his questions he was angry. Mr. Garner asks if he can ask a few questions, and the sheriff allows it. He asks her to confirm that she can't identify Roger as the one who broke into her room, or who tried to run her down. She asks if not Roger, then who?

The sheriff says he may ask her to come back to make a formal statement. As she's leaving, Mr. Garner stops her to say that his son is coming to town to help him with the case, and he was looking forward to seeing her. Carolyn shows up and she's upset. Her mother told her that Roger was being held in connection with Bill Malloy's death. Carolyn asks Vicki to wait for her, and goes in to see the sheriff.

The sheriff asks Mr. Garner to explain what's going on. Mr Garner explains that the sheriff is going to ask her a few questions. He shows her the pen and asks her if she had seen it before. She said it was her pen, given to her by Burke Devlin. She says it was lost, and she describes how Roger took it from her to return to Burke. He asks her when he lost it, and she says it was the night Bill Malloy died. He tells her Vicki found the pen on the beach at Lookout Point. She asks if Vicki told him that Roger killed Bill Malloy. She says she must have a grudge against her uncle Roger. The sheriff says Vicki was almost killed by someone last night, and he asks where her uncle was at 8pm last night. Carolyn breaks down, and the sheriff asks Vicki to come in and take Carolyn home. The sheriff asks that she stay in the house and try not to be alone. The girls leave and the sheriff calls for Roger to be brought in to his office.

Roger enters the sheriff's office. He tells Garner he hopes he's prepared to sue for false arrest. The sheriff asks why Roger buried the pen. He explains that was foolish of him. He says he buried it because it would lead people to the wrong set of conclusions. The sheriff says that he didn't want it known he was at the place Bill was killed. Garner interrupts Roger to say he doesn't have to admit anything, but Roger continues. He explains that he arranged to meet Bill, and when he arrived he found Bill was already dead. The sheriff asked what happened next. Roger says he want to his office. The sheriff asked why he didn't contact him, and why he lied the following day. He says he didn't want his sister to be embroiled in everything. The sheriff explains that lying to a police officer in an investigation is against the law. Roger asks what he intends to do about it.

The sheriff clarifies that he hasn't yet accused Roger of anything, and then asks if he has a full set of keys to Collinwood. Roger says he only has a handful of keys. The sheriff asks if he has a key to Vicki's room, and Roger sees where the questioning is leading. Rather than answer, he claims that Vicki imagined the whole thing. The sheriff asks if he has access to his sister's keys. Roger says that he surely could have broken into Vicki's room but why would he. The sheriff asks where he was at 8pm, and Roger explains he was driving around, alone, with no destination, and no one saw him. He then asks if that's when Vicki was almost run over. He does claim to have stopped for gas after 8pm somewhere outside Clearwater. He tells the sheriff to check on that, because he's told him the entire truth.

Back at Collinwood, Carolyn is distraught. She tells Vicki that she can't believe her uncle Roger would try to hurt her.

Roger says he couldn't harm anyone, let alone his governess. Roger asks how long they have to stay. The sheriff asks about the meeting with Bill. He says Burke has a theory, Roger denies there being any truth to it. The sheriff asks why Bill called the meeting the night he died. Roger dodges the question. Roger proclaims that someone may be trying to kill Vicki, but it's not him.

Our thoughts

John: Garner isn't a very good lawyer. Rather than paying attention and taking notes while Vicki answers the sheriff's questions, he's attempting to try the case in the sheriff's office.

Christine: Perhaps Garner Jr. would have handled the case better.

John: Why does the sheriff asks Garner to explain to Carolyn what he's going to do, when all he's going to do are ask her a few questions?

Christine: Maybe he thought it would calm her down to have Garner speak to her, thus avoiding any female histrionics.

John: Roger goes to great lengths to proclaim that he's telling the entire truth, but who would believe him after he had already been caught in a myriad of lies? Whether or not he's guilty of murder, he's certainly guilty of lying to the sheriff investigating Bill's death, and hiding evidence. Surely that's enough to lock him up for a little while...

Addendum:  Legal analysis by an anonymous person who does not play a lawyer on TV

One might wonder about the level of professional competence displayed by Mr. Garner, the attorney summoned by accused murderer Roger Collins. Because of our limited perspective at this point, an attorney reviewing Garner's competence would mostly have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Deciding on whether the specific acts of a TV Lawyer are competent depends on what advance preparation and investigation have been performed by the TV Lawyer, and what facts are known to the Lawyer.

Garner could be a bumbling idiot - or maybe he just reflects the inaccurate depiction of lawyers and legal proceedings characteristic to TV shows and movies. I'd say the jury is still out on the question of Garner's competence. While there are some reasons for concern about his legal abilities, there's not enough evidence to make a firm conclusion either way at this point.

This brief addendum will review the competence of Garner using a "TV Lawyer Competency Rating" (TVLCR) scale. This WAG scale is based on my estimation of how a general audience might rate a TV Lawyer's performance. I have supplemented these TVLCR scores with some comments reflecting real-world practices.


ISSUE 1: OBSERVING THE INTERROGATION

The episode starts out with Mr. Garner at the sheriff's office where the interrogation of witnesses is about to begin. The Sheriff invites Garner to leave, but Garner points out that he has a right to be present.

During the interrogation of Miss Winters, Garner jumps in a couple of times to try and score some rhetorical points. This causes the Sheriff to threaten to throw Garner out of the office. Realizing that being present for these interrogations is in the best interest of his client, Garner seems to try and hold his tongue. However, he does interrupt the questioning of Winters one more time, which causes the Sheriff to give him a final warning.

TV LAWYER RATING: Competent. Garner asserted his right to be present to hear the statements of the witnesses even though the Sheriff wrongly tried to get him to leave. Garner advocated points advantageous to his client and pushed the envelope with the Sheriff. While these types of interruptions aren't necessarily helpful in a real-life interrogation, they are certainly what people expect from a competent TV lawyer!

ISSUE 2: PARTICIPATING IN THE INTERROGATION

Garner gets permission to ask Miss Winters some questions. He immediately scores points by getting her to acknowledge that she did not see who was trying to break into her room, nor did she see who was driving the car that she thought was trying to run her over.

Garner then makes the classic cross-examination mistake of asking "one question too many." He does so by confronting Winters with the conclusion that since she didn't see who committed the acts, there was no proof that Roger Collins was the person who did those things. However, this misstep only serves to give Winters the opportunity to blurt out: "If it wasn't Roger, who was it?"

At least it didn't happen in front of a jury, where this kind of "one question too many" mistake can be embarrassing (not to mention devastating to the client's case). Garner should have stopped asking questions after he elicited the helpful facts. Later he could have used these facts, at the appropriate time and place, to argue the conclusion he wanted to draw from the failings of the evidence.

Instead, Garner asked that "one question too many" which allowed the witness to advance a negative conclusion. Posing the supposed "lack of proof" as a question also gave Winters an opportunity to volunteer other harmful facts that had not yet come out (although that did not happen in this instance).

While supporters of Garner’s tactics might argue that he was using the interview setting to test the waters, and that it was a less risky situation to ask "one question too many", I don't buy it. Unless you know the witness is going to say "and I don't think he did it", there doesn't seem to be any meaningful benefit to confronting the witness with a fairly weak conclusion that doesn't necessarily follow from all the facts.

TV LAWYER RATING: Incompetent. All Garner accomplished was getting the witness to essentially say: "Who else could have been the murderer except your client?"


ISSUE 3: EFFECTIVE ASSISTANCE OF COUNSEL

Things really seem to go off the rails when Roger comes in. We know that Collins is being held by the Sheriff, although only for questioning. Why isn't Collins read his rights? Why is Garner just sitting there while the client talks and talks?

An important missing piece of information is whether Garner had had an opportunity to speak with Collins privately prior to the interrogation by the Sheriff. If that had occurred, then hopefully Garner would have advised Collins about the right to remain silent and inquired into the statements that Collins would be making.

Interestingly enough, the U.S. Supreme Court decision in Miranda v. Arizona was issued only about five months before this episode aired. So the expected TV "reading of your rights" does not occur. Throughout the seventies, the Miranda warnings (i.e. "you have the right to remain silent...", etc.) would become a staple of police shows and movies. Indeed, these scenes were repeated ad nauseum to the extent that it created a general misimpression that an arrest was illegal if the police did not read a person their rights. (In reality, Miranda warnings are not required to be given simply because someone is being arrested. Further, the failure to give the warnings does not render an arrest invalid, but it could result in statements being declared inadmissible.)

Given the typical inaccuracy of the legal proceedings depicted on television shows and in movies, it is no surprise that Dark Shadows does not incorporate breaking legal issues that were only several months old at the time of the episode (this isn't a "ripped from the headlines" legal show like Law & Order, after all).

That being said, as Collins is making a variety of statements to the Sheriff, Garner jumps in with the advice: "You don't have to admit anything you don't want to admit." Not bad for a TV lawyer, especially during that era, but the better advice would have been: "You don't have to make any statements at all — and SHUT UP like I told you during our meeting at the jail."

In real life, the client ultimately makes the decision about whether or not to make a statement to the police. A lawyer must make sure that the client is properly advised and understands the risks of making a statement. From what I saw in this episode, Roger Collins strikes me as just the type of client who would have disregarded his lawyer's advice in this regard, even if Collins had been properly advised by Garner prior to the interrogation by the sheriff.

TV LAWYER RATING: Incompetent. How can Garner just sit there and let his client say all those things without even being read his rights?


OVERALL EVALUATION

Garner strikes me as the go-to civil attorney for the Collins family who got dragged into this murder case just because they are familiar with him. Based on Garner's poor competency rating as a TV Lawyer, Roger Collins should fire him and instead reach out to Raymond Burr or Andy Griffith.

Episode 94 - 11/3/66

While Vicki and Frank are together in Bangor, Joe and Carolyn are together at The Blue Whale in Collinsport. Joe accuses Carolyn of pretending to have a good time. She tells Joe that Vicki saw the ghost of Bill Malloy. Joe asks Carolyn what's going on between them. Carolyn says she's sorry, and Joe says the last time she said she was sorry, she immediately turned on him again. She says she called him because she wanted to be with him more than anyone else. Joe asked if that was even more than Burke Devlin. Sam and Maggie arrive, and Carolyn invites them to join them. Maggie is uncomfortable, but they do.

Vicki and Frank have dinner in Bangor. Vicki tells her story. Frank says he'll do anything in his power to help her solve her problem.

Carolyn compliments Maggie's dress before she and Joe dance. While dancing, Joe asks Carolyn why she invited Maggie and her father to join then. Carolyn says she was being polite, and wanted Maggie to know there were no hard feelings. At the table, Sam tries to explain to Maggie that there's no chance of a future with Joe.

Frank says he'll start tracking down the Hanscombe's to see what he can find. Frank's father arrives, and tells his son that he's got an important case to work on in the morning. Frank invites his father to join them for a drink. He explains what he's offered to do for Vicki, and his father suggests to Vicki that she not get her hopes up.

Carolyn flirts with Joe, and Maggie explains she has to go. Sam says he wants to walk her home, but after he has another drink. Vicki comes up in conversation, and Carolyn explains that she's gone to Bangor, to get away after seeing Bill Malloy's ghost. Sam is very interested in the details about what Bill's ghost said to her. Carolyn said the ghost told her to stay away from Collinwood, as it's not safe for her there. Maggie suggests Vicki might be lonely in Bangor by herself, and Carolyn says she went with her intimate friend, Burke Devlin. Joe abruptly asks Carolyn to dance again to get her away from the table.

Joe calls Carolyn a liar. He says that once again she only called him because she was jealous of Vicki and Burke. Carolyn storms out on him, and as he chases after her, Maggie smiles.

Frank's father excuses himself, and before he leaves Frank asks to speak to him, asking if he has something against Vicki. His father says he has no problem with Frank's trying to help her, but he needs to remember Elizabeth Stoddard is their client—NOT Victoria Winters.

Sam orders another drink, and Maggie says he promised they'd leave three drinks ago. Sam explains that he needs the drink right now. Joe returns and joins them. He says he brought Carolyn home. Sam asks Joe to see Maggie home, as he plans to take a long walk. Maggie apologizes for being foisted off on Joe. He says it's no problem, and says she's a nice girl for not asking about what happened with Carolyn. Maggie asks why Joe returned, and he explains he wanted to continue his lessons, and asks her to name all of the sails on a ship. She laughs and begins listing them all...

Our thoughts

John: Bob Cobert's greatest hits are back on the Blue Whale's jukebox.

Christine: Just like old times. Don't those catchy tunes just make you want to get up and dance and argue with your girlfriend?

John: How come the word orphan is avoided at all costs? Who refers to them as 'foundlings'?

Christine: An orphan refers to someone whose parents are dead, while a foundling refers to someone who was abandoned by parents that may still be alive. Vicki doesn't really know if her parents are alive or dead.

John: Have we finally seen the end of the Joe/Carolyn relationship? Now that it's clear to Joe that Carolyn only comes running to him when she's jealous, I think he's had enough of her. The only offenses on Maggie's record are the bad blonde wig she started with, and calling Vicki a jerk when they first met. But other than that, she's far less maintenance than Carolyn, so hopefully the change will do Joe some good, provided his job working for the Collins fishery isn't in jeopardy...

Christine: It's a soap opera, so I expect the relationship to go through its death throes before the last gasp. Joe's a glutton for punishment, so I don't think it's over yet.